CUP OF COFFEE OR GAME?
Your $10 Bill. Your Choice. (Choose Wisely.)
Welcome to the most deliciously savage corner of nineinchsandwich.com. Here’s the deal:
We review Nintendo console games cheaper than your local coffee shop’s fancy latte (yes, even that $9 + tip “Artisanal Cascara Cold Brew”). Every. Damn. Time.
Hot Deal Alert: Right now, you can snag Shakedown: Hawaii — a wildly fun 16-bit open-world romp — for just $1.99 on the Nintendo Switch eShop. That’s cheaper than most fancy coffees! Sale ends August 2, 2025 .
The Pitch
Imagine if Grand Theft Auto met SimCity in a pixelated Hawaiian paradise. You play as a hilariously corrupt CEO who’s lost his empire to modern tech (streaming, ride-sharing, you name it). His solution? Shakedowns, property grabs, and “creative” capitalism. It’s Retro City Rampage’s bigger, bolder sequel — now with 16-bit flair .
Gameplay: Crime Pays (Literally)
- Open-World Shenanigans: Steal cars, torch rivals’ stores, extort businesses (83 shakedowns!), and buy 396 properties to rebuild your empire. Daily passive income fuels your chaos .
- Twin-Stick Mayhem: Smooth controls let you aim freely while dodging cops. Favorites? Flamethrowers, water hoses, and grenade launchers .
- Three Playable Characters: Switch between the grumpy CEO, his delinquent son, and a hitman — each with unique missions .
- Side Activities: Burgle houses, race speedboats, or tackle arcade-style score challenges. Pure 90s arcade joy .
Visuals & Sound: A 16-Bit Love Letter
- Gorgeous Pixel Art: Vibrant Hawaiian vistas, destructible environments, and expressive character sprites. Dial in CRT filters for retro-TV nostalgia .
- Funky Synthwave Soundtrack: Think Miami Vice meets tropical vacation. Head-bobbing perfection .
The Good vs. The Quirky
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
| Hilarious satire of capitalism 📉 | Some mission repetition |
| Addictive empire-building loop 🏢 | Occasional bugs (patched!) |
| 8–10 hours of chaotic fun ⏱️ | Easy difficulty (good for relaxing) |
| Massive content for $1.99 💸 | Map navigation can feel clunky |
Why This Sale is Unmissable
- Normally $19.99 → 90% OFF .
- File size? 173 MB. Fits on your Switch like a pixel in paradise .
Verdict: Brew Coffee, Not Regrets
“Shakedown: Hawaii is a witty, chaotic love letter to 16-bit sandboxes. For less than a latte, it’s a must-buy.” — Collecting Asylum (8/10)
Grab it before the sale ends August 2!
👉 eShop Link
Have you played it? Share your shadiest shakedown stories below! 👇
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